Worth It

Verse 1: How many times have I asked myself the same old question,
Wondering again and again: is it all worth it?
Yet I've seen so much and I know it's true,
So I need to keep my faith in You.
Keep my grasp on the facts.
It's a scary ride through my past.
But I ask You to make me strong.
Because I know I'll be loosed from these heart-rending doubts
Once I've got all the issues and lies figured out.
Every night I fall asleep
Asking why I still want to keep
The old monster.
Verse 2: As I fight against the old desires, it's so exhausting.
I can't help but wonder again, is it all worth it?
I see all my life I've been so strong,
And growing stronger all along.
Yet I see - silly me -
I used to think that I was weak.
I just wanted to be that way.
No, I don't have all the answers, but one thing I know:
These delusions of weakness have sure got to go.
I'm so used to the abuse,
I don't want to accept the truth that uplifts me.
Verse 3: I know I can't go on like this, so weak and helpless.
I'm starting to think again, it must be worth it.
Because if I'm too weak to help myself,
I can't help anybody else.
So I'll go for the goal.
I've got to do it for my soul,
And for those who walk in my steps.
Because what I want to offer will not be the same
As the empty entrapments of this evil game.
I don't want to pass it on,
I've been in it for far too long already.

New Life Song (from "Witness in the Dark")

Your true colors lie inside your heart -

Not what you say, but who you are.

And it matters not how you may seem,

But how you live, and what you dream.

Forsake the surface and look within.

As every snake must shed its skin,

New life and purpose you will find,

When willing to leave the old behind.

New life and purpose you will find,

When willing to leave the old behind.

We gaze into the night sky,

Allowing it to lift us high,

In spirit, dwelling far away

From that which blinds us day by day.

In spirit, dwelling far away

From that which blinds us day by day.

Be Our Witness

Little light in the night, 

Show our world the way home, 

Show us that it can be done - 

Live the way of life. 

Like a spark in the dark, 

Set aflame our lamps that died, 

Keep our dying ones alive, 

Melt our frozen hearts.

Until we all shall do our part, 

And our whole family shall rise -

Above the hatred, above the lies,

To overcome all darkness -

Be our Witness.

The Two Crowns

Earthly companions nowhere I see, no human hand to strengthen me. Jesus I follow, trudging along; I must move on, I must be strong! And I know that I will get there, because I know that You are leading me, and I know that You have been this way before me. So though I feel so far from home, I look to You - what can I say? For it is by Your grace alone that I am standing here today.
     Feeling so restless, fighting inside - sometimes I want to run and hide! But I have no reason to turn around. I can't give in or be held down. For I started on this journey knowing well it would not be easy, but I'm here because I choose my Father's calling. So when my heart begins to doubt, I look to You - what can I say? For since before I did set out, You've been my Savior all the way.
     No earthly tie must hinder me now - I have one thought: obtain the crown. This is my purpose, my only goal. I'll fight for it with all my soul! For the Lord is my desire. Nothing else can give me lasting joy. So I choose the One who satisfies my longings. If I must choose between the crowns, I look to You - what can I say? If it is up to me right now, I'll cast the earthly crown away!
     Honors or riches, lover or friend, will gain You nothing in the end. Each earthly promise of joy and bliss conceals a snare of emptiness. So be wise as serpents, harmless as doves, sent like sheep among the wolves.... With so many snares to destroy your soul, your only safety is to stay on the goal. We have nothing to lose but earth's misery, so I'll gain that heavenly crown - if it kills me....

Superman

Last night before I fell asleep, I prayed, "God, what is wrong with me?! After all I know, how can I feel this way? I'm feeling stupid, so I pray, what do You say?" Why am I drawn to this net? What would I get out of this? A swirl of emotions of joy and pain, returning to the cycle I grew up in. Sure, it would change its form, for me it would hold a new charm. The issues I've had in my life so far would seem to be replaced, but only in a way. For that I would jump in, but I can't, because
(CHORUS: I don't need any Superman, it's just a part of the devil's plan to send someone in to save my day, besides my Jesus, and no, I say.)
This morning I prayed again, "Lord, show me the root of my sin," and later remembered I'd had a dream. And I know what it means, so I'll tell you. I dreamed that I saw a display of Superman and Lois Lane. I started to read that comic strip, but soon we had to go. And still I didn't know what would happen next - but who cares? because (chorus) I walked out the library door with a book I'd paid two dollars for: bought into a false reality, just like the comic book I took home. I looked at the book in my bag: I think of the life I would have. But how could I pay for this piece of junk?! If that's the way I feel, I tell myself, "Get real." Oh God, what do I do? I'm taking it back, because (chorus) I never was planning to read that whole stupid Superman thing, just finish the story I had begun; continue my mistake where I left off.... So if I should go that route, I'll get a proud man, no doubt, just like he always would save the day. And he would be the one having all the fun, pretending to love me when he got back, but no (chorus) I thought about this some more, I've been talking with my Lord. And thinking the way I always have won't get me anywhere worth going. I started to laugh at the thought, and I have been laughing a lot. Hilarious concept for me to grasp - that I'm too weak to stand, and that's why I need a man? With all God's gotten me through, could that be true? --No! (chorus) Because He's all I need, and all in all to me. I don't need a man, when I'm strong enough to stand. Christ in me has made me strong, and I know I, I can go on. And no, I don't want any Superman to pull me into the devil's plan, to swoop into my life and carry me away, away from Jesus? No, I say. And I don't have time for that anyway, and with my Savior I'm okay.

Whatever It Takes

Beginning: Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my thoughts.
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Verse 1: Lord, I want to know - please open my eyes, to see whatever's in my way.
I gave myself to You, but as time goes on, I want a closer walk.
And I don't care anymore if You bring me to my knees.
I'm just asking You, Jesus, please -
Whatever it takes, though my heart must break,
Give me the thing I crave, a deeper surrender.
Let my heart be transformed, into the image of my Lord.
Let nothing hinder me from being Yours.
Verse 2: Lord, I see Your love, Your power and grace; Your mercy to me is all-surpassing.
I want to follow You; You've led me so far, yet still there's far to go.
Tell me Jesus, who am I, to refuse Your will in anything?
I am willing, Lord, soften my heart,
Whatever it takes, though my heart must break,
Give me the thing I crave, a deeper surrender.
Let my heart be transformed, into the image of my Lord.
Let nothing hinder me from being Yours.

Happily Ever After

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom.

Some subjects were true-hearted, courageous, and humble.

But there were some who were proud, presumptuous, and vain.

So listen to this story to help you see the right way.

     Princess Pretty sat by a mirror, wondering when her prince would appear. She put on a fancy dress, to look her very best for the one who would save her from her troubles.

     Far, far away rode Prince Handsome on his handsome horse, to find and to save a pretty princess. His armor was shining, his countenance beaming in proud expectation of winning her heart. One day he came to a fast-flowing river. His horse could not jump it, and he would not swim. So he looked all around for something else to do, and lo and behold, he saw Princess Vanity.

     Princess Pretty sat in her room, thinking of her sorrow and doom. She dreamed that a charming man would come and take her hand. Surely he would save her from her troubles.

     Far, far away rode Prince Charming on his charming horse, to find and to save a pretty princess. His armor was shining, his countenance beaming in proud expectation of winning her heart. Soon Charming came to the fast-flowing river. He jumped off his horse and he ventured to swim. Gasping for breath, he came to the other side, and went on his way to save Princess Pretty.

     Princess Pretty could take it no more, so it's a good thing he came to her door. There wasn't much to say; they married right away. Then they lived happily ever after.

     Or did they?

     A strong young woman read a letter sent from the King of kings. The letter was urgent for her to come quickly, with no time to pack her things. She could not stay; she knelt to pray and then set out on her way. She knew not what His purpose was, but she trusted in His plan. She knew her path would not be easy as she learned to be a daughter of God. But she knew till the end of her journey, He would keep leading her on.
     One humble young man embarked on a journey in accordance with the King’s command. He set out on foot with a heart full of prayer on a quest for the heavenly land. Along the way, he met many in need. Their hungry souls he did faithfully feed. His purpose in life was to follow God’s plan, and to fulfill his duty toward God and man. As he learned to be a son of God, he braved scorn and pain from enemy and friend. He took all the armor, and by faith in Jesus, beyond the journey he saw the glorious end.
     Bravely they journeyed, the two on their own separate paths as God led them along. Nothing could stop them as they journeyed higher and higher with Christ as their Guide.
Maybe their paths did cross.
Maybe they did not.
But because they followed God,
They each did truly live happily ever after.

I'm Letting Go

Father I know it's time to let go.
Walking tonight, the stars shining bright -
Take me away, into the sky.
God I have tried, time after time.
I thought it was gone, I see I was wrong.
Jesus I need You to lead me on.
Lord I just do not understand how to totally let go,
But I'm putting this in Your hands even though I don't know.
I ask You to take it now,
Lord just show me how to really let go.

Sister I see you're kind of like me.
Not all the same, but I can relate,
And I know it is hard.
God is the key. He's what you need.
You'd better let go, before things get so much worse.
Just put God first.
We must let go of our own plans as we let Him have our whole life.
And He gives us to understand what we need to know in His time.
He will take it from us now -
Yes, He will show us how to really let go.

I'm starting to see it's all about me.
I'm being selfish here, because of my fears.
Take it away - give me peace.
I stare out in space. I need Your embrace.
I know You are there. I know that You care.
Answer me! Hear my prayer.
God I see that You alone can answer me this way,
And no power beside Thine own can make the stars obey.
God I know it is only You who can gently walk me through.
So help me let go.
You're the answer I'm looking for and all I need is You.
You are with me and You're my all -
You will show me what to do.
God I know it's a simple fact that I only need to grasp to really let go.
I will really let go.
I'm letting go.

Carry On

I've been traveling for so long.
I need strength to carry on,
Lest I lose my way.
I hear Jesus calling me,
"You have greater heights to see,
And if you will trust My providence,
I will take you through.
I will strengthen you.
Before you can gain a victory,
You know that a battle is necessary.
If you take My hand, I will take you to higher ground.
So dear child, when you believe,
Just reach out to Me."
Lord, I have no strength at all,
And I fear that I shall fall
To the abyss below.
Yet if I may grasp Your hand,
I shall have the strength to stand.
And I trust in You to hold me up.
You will pull me through,
As I cling to You.
I may feel weak, discouraged, and lost.
But that should not keep me from carrying on.
If I should give up, I could have done it long ago.
Yet You've brought me here, I see,
And You're still with me.
Through this dark and fearful night,
I will cling with all my might.
Carry on.
I am wearied for my cries,
Yet I see through tear-dimmed eyes:
There's a light on the horizon.
Hallelujah!
Soon will be the dawn.
I can carry on.
Carry on.
Carry on.
Carry on.

The Truth Will Make You Free

Somehow I wondered why I was depressed.
So I struggled with darkness in my endless quest
To get somewhere in my life.
Others' opinions were placed above mine.
I have been cast down time after time.
So I learned to believe the lies.
And no matter how hard I tried,
I could never be truly me without being seen as wrong.
I do have a mind of my own,
And I'm walking away from your throne.
I will not stand for this.
I am not supporting bitterness.
You will not see me on the floor -
Not anymore.

My words are not heard; I am ignorant.
I have not my own thoughts; I've been influenced -
That's what I have been told.
Because you insisted, it all became true:
I lost my opinions - when around you.
And with others who heard your side,
I was quiet and felt denied.
My true self had to hide, and I had no right to speak or to be involved.
You cannot have control anymore.
I am not just a roach on the floor.
I have been in a monster's house,
And the gloom has filled my soul with doubts.
I will not bow down to the roar -
Not anymore.

Others you say I do not tolerate,
Yet you condemn me for my chosen way.
Can you have tolerance?
False accusations are common to me.
The things you say I do, you do to me.
And I realize now this is wrong,
And I know this cannot go on
Without being the cause of eternal loss, for my soul and for your own.
You have blinded yourself to the truth.
My submission was not helping you.
I have set my face like a flint:
I do not support delusions.
There is a better way than this,
And now I see:
I am free...
Free...

I have found reality,
In a place where we can be free.
Come and join me -
The truth will make you free.

You Are With Me

Verse 1: When I feel like life's upside down,
And I just don't know why things are so,
Still You are with me -
I'm never alone.
And You'll be with me forever, I know.
Though I feel all alone,
And I feel disowned,
Yet You're still by my side.
And in Your arms of love I will hide.
You are with me, and that's all I need.
Verse 2: When I feel like nobody knows
 What I'm dealing with deep in my soul,
I must go to Jesus -
Yes, must believe.
For they're only human, they can't really see.
Jesus, by faith I know
 That I'm not alone.
For I trust in Your grace
 To fill my heart,
Leave no empty space.
You are with me, and that's all I need.
Verse 3: Lord, You've proven all things can change,
Yet there's one thing that still remains:
That You are my shelter,
I safely abide.
And though I may falter, I trust in my Guide.
Jesus keep my heart with You.
This is all that I ask of You.
For in all of my life,
Nothing I have tried
 Gave me peace like You gave.
Lord, You alone are mighty to save.
You are with me, and that's all I need.
When all others failed me,
You caused me to see
 That love is from You alone,
And I'm happiest when that's all I know.
You are with me, and that's all I need.